I learned this lesson early.
Very early.
Most people assume that anyone with a whistle, a credential, or a loud voice is an authority.
I don’t.
As a wrestling parent, you can’t afford to.
Because in wrestling, who you learn from matters more than what you learn.
Two Types of Teachers in Wrestling
There are only two kinds of people teaching your child every day:
- Those who teach from experience
- Those who teach from theory
The second group is dangerous.
Not because they’re bad people.
But because they’ve never paid the price.
They’ve never:
- Managed a brutal weight cut that went wrong
- Watched confidence crumble after a bad loss
- Been responsible for a kid’s long-term development
- Balanced winning with protecting a parent-child relationship
- Seen what burnout actually looks like at 16, not 26
Yet they teach:
- Mental toughness
- “Discipline”
- Commitment
- Development
- Long-term success
All from ideas.
Not scars.
That’s like learning how to swim from someone who’s never been in the water.
Why This Hits Wrestling Parents Hard
Wrestling is different.
This isn’t soccer.
This isn’t baseball.
This isn’t a sport where mistakes disappear next practice.
Wrestling exposes everything:
- Fear
- Ego
- Parenting mistakes
- Coaching flaws
- System failures
And when the guidance is wrong, the cost isn’t just losses.
The cost is:
- A broken relationship
- A kid who quits early
- Years of wasted potential
- Regret you don’t get back
That’s why who you trust matters more than how hard your kid works.
Experience Teaches Judgment. Theory Doesn’t.
Here’s what most parents never realize:
- Fake teachers teach information
- Real teachers teach judgment
Information is easy.
Anyone can memorize drills.
Anyone can repeat buzzwords.
Judgment only comes from experience.
From being in the corner.
From making mistakes.
From fixing them.
From living with the consequences.
That’s why so many “well-informed” families still struggle.
They know:
- The rules
- The schedules
- The terminology
But they don’t know:
- When to push vs when to protect
- When to trust the coach vs intervene
- When a loss is healthy
- When a system is failing
They know the definitions, but not the decisions.
The Parenting Trap Nobody Talks About
Here’s the uncomfortable truth:
Most damage in wrestling doesn’t come from bad intentions.
It comes from bad guidance given confidently.
Parents are told:
- “More is always better”
- “If they’re tired, that means it’s working”
- “If they’re losing, add more pressure”
- “If they complain, they’re weak”
That advice often comes from people who’ve never:
- Coached an athlete long-term
- Managed burnout
- Preserved a healthy family dynamic
- Developed an elite competitor without breaking them
And parents listen, because they don’t know what to question.
This Is Why We Built What We Built
For the last 30+ years, I’ve lived on both sides of this journey:
- As an athlete at the highest levels
- As a coach
- And as someone who understands the parent-child dynamic inside wrestling
What I’ve seen over and over is simple:
- Talent isn’t the problem
- Effort isn’t the problem
- Love isn’t the problem
Guidance is.
Parents don’t need more opinions.
They need a proven framework.
One that shows:
- How to support without smothering
- How to build toughness without damage
- How to navigate coaches, clubs, and systems
- How to protect the relationship and chase excellence
You shouldn’t have to choose between:
- A successful wrestler
- A strong relationship
You can have both.
The Question Every Wrestling Parent Should Ask
Stop asking:
- “Who sounds the smartest?”
Start asking:
- “Who’s been through it, and came out better?”
Because wrestling excellence isn’t built in theory.
It’s built:
- In hard conversations
- In smart restraint
- In systems that actually work
- In judgment earned the hard way
And the people who’ve never been there are the last ones you should trust to guide your child.
If this hit home, don’t ignore it.
There is a better way to parent through wrestling.
One that protects your kid, your relationship, and their potential.
Learn it here: https://www.wrestlingparent.com/opt-in
This is for parents who want clarity, confidence, and results.
Not opinions. Not noise. Not guesswork.
If you’re serious about doing this right, this is your next step.
Be The Best… always! (on and off the mat)
Georgi I. Ivanov
Olympian | Mentor