Let’s talk about something no one is warning you about…
As a parent, every word you speak, every look you give, every comment after a match, it’s building your wrestler’s self-image.
And their self-image is like a thermostat. It controls what they believe they can achieve.
- If they see themselves as “pretty good,” they’ll unconsciously pull back when they get too close to greatness.
- If they’re told “you’re just not aggressive,” they believe it. That becomes their story.
- If you constantly critique every little mistake, they stop taking risks. They start fearing failure.
Their thermostat gets set low. And they’ll never outperform that internal setting, no matter how much talent they have.
You Could Be Crushing Their Confidence Without Even Knowing It
This is the part that stings.
You’re doing your best. You love your kid. You want them to win.
But if you’re not intentional about the words you say and the beliefs you reinforce, you’re accidentally programming limits into their subconscious.
What you say becomes their inner voice when they’re down 4-1 with 30 seconds left.
What they believe about themselves determines if they fight or fold.
Example That’ll Hit Home:
If a kid hears, “You’re always so nervous before matches,” guess what happens?
They believe they’re nervous.
They become the kid who chokes.
Their thermostat says, “You’re not built for pressure.”
Now compare that to a kid who’s told,
“You’re calm under pressure. You know how to turn it on when it matters.”
That becomes their identity. That’s their thermostat setting.
And it shows.
Wrestling Is 90% Mental, And You’re Their Primary Programmer
Let that sink in.
Before the club. Before the coach.
YOU are the first and most influential coach in your wrestler’s mind.
And if you’re not careful, you’ll wire in limitations that take years to undo.
- Their belief system must be protected.
- Their self-image must be built intentionally.
- Because their self-image controls their output.
What Should You Do Instead?
- Speak to their potential, not their past mistakes
- Build the identity you want them to step into
- Watch how you label them, even in jokes
- Reaffirm growth: “You’re the type of kid who figures things out.”
This isn’t fluff. It’s neuroscience. It’s performance psychology.
And it’s what separates state placers from world champions.
If You’re Serious About Getting This Right
You can’t wing it anymore. You need the blueprint.
I built the Wrestling Parent Masterclass for this exact reason.
To show you exactly how to wire your kid for greatness without breaking your bond.
Stop guessing. Start leading with intention.
Go here now before the doors close: https://www.wrestlingparent.com/opt-in
Be The Best… always! (on and off the mat)
Georgi I. Ivanov
Olympian | Mentor