“It’s not what happens that matters, it’s how you respond.”
If you don’t understand this, your kid’s wrestling success, and your relationship with them, could suffer.
Let’s break down something that every wrestling parent needs to teach their kid, and live by themselves:
E + R = O
Event + Response = Outcome
The Mindset That Separates Champions From the Pack
Your kid lost a match.
The ref made a bad call.
A coach said something you didn’t like.
Another parent rubbed you the wrong way.
Your athlete is frustrated, maybe even crying.
These are events.
But here’s the truth:
The event doesn’t determine the outcome, your response does.
You can’t control every event.
But you can train your kid, and yourself, to respond in a way that leads to growth, strength, and long-term success.
One Mindset, One Meaning: Give Power to the Right Things
Let’s get deep for a second. Most of the time, we assign meaning to things automatically.
“My kid lost, that’s bad.”
“We had a bad weekend, we’re not improving.”
“My kid’s behind.”
And suddenly, you’re spiraling.
What if instead of defaulting to negativity, you trained your mind, and your wrestler’s, to say:
- “This match exposed a weakness. Thank you.”
- “We got beat, but now we know what to work on.”
- “We’re not behind, we’re learning faster than ever.”
That’s real mental toughness. Not yelling. Not smashing headgear. Not blaming others.
Teach Your Kid to Use the Formula: E + R = O
Here’s how you coach this into your athlete, and yourself:
1. Recognize the Event.
Call it what it is. Don’t sugarcoat. “You got beat.” “You made a mistake.”
2. Pause and Choose Your Response.
Ask: What response will serve my long-term goal?
3. Define the Outcome You Want.
Do you want growth, or do you want excuses?
4. Repeat It Until It’s Habit.
Just like drilling a move, mindset gets better with reps.
This Is What World Champions Do
They’re not special. They’re not magical.
They’ve just built systems, with their families, with their coaches, where they control the controllables and stay grounded no matter what happens.
You can do this too.
- Want your kid to learn how to master this?
- Want a system to help you coach this at home?
- Want your athlete to be a confident, composed, unshakable competitor?
We Break This Down Inside the Wrestling Parent Masterclass
- Mindset systems that Olympic-caliber athletes use.
- Real strategies to help you teach this to your wrestler.
- Simple tools for when emotions run high (losses, wins, refs, parents, coaching issues, all of it).
Don’t let another event derail your kid’s confidence or your relationship with them.
Go here now: https://www.wrestlingparent.com/opt-in
Because how you respond today could change everything.
Be The Best… always! (on and off the mat)
Georgi I. Ivanov
Olympian | Mentor