Ever feel like it’s never enough?
Your kid wins a match, yet you’re already thinking about the next one.
They place top 3 at a tournament, and you’re frustrated they didn’t take 1st.
They make progress, but somehow you feel worse.
Sound familiar?
That’s called living in the GAP. And it’s silently sabotaging your relationship with your wrestler.
The “Gap vs Gain” Shift That Saved My Sanity (And Can Save Yours Too)
The GAP Mentality:
- Measures your kid against what they “should” be
- Obsessive focus on flaws and how far they still have to go
- No matter the progress, it’s “not good enough”
- Leads to frustration, burnout, and toxic car rides home
The GAIN Mentality:
- Measures your kid against where they started
- Recognizes improvement, even in losses
- Builds confidence and deepens the parent-child bond
- Creates motivation through gratitude, not guilt
Example:
Your kid was shy, unsure, and went 0-2 last season. This season? They got their first win. That’s a GAIN. Celebrate it.
Why This Shift Matters in Wrestling More Than Anywhere Else
Wrestling is brutally honest. It exposes weaknesses. It pushes limits.
If you live in the GAP as a parent, your kid will start to feel like a failure even when they’re succeeding.
Wrestling parents in our masterclass say this shift alone changed their entire dynamic.
Less pressure. More connection. And a wrestler who WANTS to get better.
Here’s How to Start Measuring the GAIN:
- Ask: “Where was my kid 6 months ago?
- Celebrate small wins: effort, attitude, composure, not just medals
- Talk about progress at dinner, not just results
- End every car ride with: “What did you learn today?”
Bottom Line:
Your kid doesn’t need a perfect performance.
They need a present parent.
Start living in the GAIN.
Want the full system that’s helping parents all over the country build better wrestlers and better relationships?
Spots are limited. Don’t wait. Go here now:
👉 https://www.wrestlingparent.com/opt-in
Be The Best… always! (on and off the mat)
Georgi I. Ivanov
Olympian | Mentor